I just feel like writing because it was so bad it was good. Apparently this scam is common because I saw it on the news not even a month ago. Ignore me this is a story for my grandkids and way longer then I intended for it to be lmao.
My county "sheriffs' office" called me, asking for me. I didn't pick up because caller ID said "wireless caller" and I didn't recognize the number. The "officer" informed me that he had "very important papers" for me to sign and asked me to call him back at my earliest convenience. This was about 4:30pm.
Now I am pacing around my room trying to figure out how I could have possibly broken the law when I literally do not leave my house (lmfao) and my dad came in from outside, so I asked him about it and played the message for him. After talking to my mom we basically concluded that either one of my classmates from college got arrested (LMAO) or this was a scam of some sort.
My dad told me to call back just to be sure, so I did. This was at 5pm. My first tip that it was a scam was that it was a cell phone number. Police officers can't call citizens about anything law-related on their personal cell phones, I am like...93% sure that illegal or very close to it?? lmao. And he didn't have an answering machine (Queue my mom: "IT'S A BURNER PHONE!!")
Basically I thought this was the end of it but 15 minutes later, the 'officer' calls back. This was my second clue that it was a scam. My local Government shuts down at 5pm. They run out of their office building like it's on fire and everyone knows this lmao? But anyway now I wanna see what the hell this scam could possibly be and to figure out how much they go on me. My dad picks up the other phone to listen in on the conversation.
This guy "Lt. Kevin Miller" (right) basically confirms my identity, then starts asking me about...you guessed it, JURY DUTY. "You missed jury duty on Oct 17," he goes. "I didn't receive a summons??" I go.
My third clue it was a scam. I received a (real
) jury duty summons last May, during finals week. I am officially waived from jury duty until I graduate from college next May. I couldn't possibly have had it. But the scammers obviously don't know this lmaoo.
(I didn't even mention how he said it was a "federal court" issue and that's funny because... the State government doesn't handle Federal affairs and the Sheriff doesn't handle to Courts so HMMMm.)
Anyways, at some point I get tired this shit and my dad answers for me because he can see me getting stressed out (lmao) so he takes over the call. Basically the "officer" tells us a bunch of official sounding shit, then "transfers us to his superior", another "officer". This officer refused to even tell me dad a fake name lmao.
My dad is 100% sure its a scam at this point, but he is curious like I am, so he keeps playing in on it. He asks this guy "where is the sheriffs officer" and the guy gives us the address of Town Hall?? Which is....A) an entire block of buildings. When we asked "okay but what building/suite??" he just was like "that's it that's the address" (OKaY) and B) The Sheriff doesn't live at Town Hall lmao. This guy also told us that if we "keep track of out mileage" we could "get 51 cent back on the mile when you get to the office" (the hell lmaoo??). He also told us that "we are open all hours, we have shifts" (which again, the government shuts down at 5pm lmao).
Anyway after some back and forth, basically they told me I had "2 misdemeanors" for missing jury duty (which is wrong agAIN YOU CAN MISS JURY DUTY ONCE LMAO)
but that these misdemeanors were "inactive" (IS THAT EVEN A THING?? EITHER THERE'S A WARRANT FOR MY ARREST OR THERE ISN'T ?? LMAO)
and that we had to run out (it was 6pm at this point)
in the night and
pay a fine of almost $2000 to get the charges dropped and my name "off their books" (they kept using this term lmao). But apparently we would be "reimbursed directly afterward in the Finance department". And - get this - apparentLY the government does not accept cash, debit/credit OR checks. APPARENTLY the ONLY way to pay this $2000 ticket is with 4-5 $500-limit money orders from the local supper market or Walmart (At this point me and my dad are like "AlrightAlrightAlrightAlright" lmao).
Not only that but apparently "if you hang up a warrant will go out for your arrest! I know you did nothing wrong, but my system does not, so we must maintain an open line of communication." (RIGHHHTT that is totally how "the system" works tho lmaoo).
The best part (of several best parts) was that when we were like "uh, those machines only take cash? We don't have $2000 cash on us?? ?" the guy comes back with "How much do you have?"
LMAOo okay apparently the government now takes "however much you have" for fines now wow America sure has changed yall.
Anyway it's safe to say the we figured out the scam (they were going to somehow convince us to give the MoneyPak card numbers to them over the phone?? which is why they didn't want us to hang up, but funnily enough, he shared his 'cellphone' number with us and then asked for my dad's...which funnily enough, implies that we COULD hang up if not only to change phones?? ?? WHAT IS THE TRUTH??)
Like oh man they did good sounding official, but if you asked them anything they fell apart, their story didn't match at all (HE NEVER DID TELL ME ABOUT THOSE "important papers" FROM THE FIRST MESSAGE.......), and it was like...they were just pulling from all these different 'official sounding' government pots? Like Separation of Powers my dudes lmaoo.
They spent nearly an hour with us on the phone and I have to think they do this with everyone they scam and I just wonder....Really?? I mean I guess it must work on some people (they seemed to want me to panic, not have time to think or ask anything, and were counting on me knowing even less then they did about the US government)
, but it seems like an awful lot of work for "whatever you got" lo l.
Anyway I am done rambling I just found this funny and it's something I want to remember. We called the real
sheriffs office right after that obviously lol.